Brasserie Roux

Hotel Sofitel, Heathrow Terminal 5

It is true, Brasserie Roux can be found at Terminal 5. Only 21 minutes from Central London. According to their PR agents. Somehow I find that hard to believe. What about the journey to Paddington to catch the Heathrow Express? Or the ten minute walk through the shiny corridors and endless escalators of T5’s Arrivals area? It’s probably fair to say that Brasserie Roux is not 21 minutes from Central London at all. But it IS fair to say that Brasserie Roux’s unfortunate location is effectively its only flaw. Not everyone will get to ride this pony but if you are eating here it’s extremely likely you’ll already be in the vicinity. This is businessman country and it’s easy to envisage great herds of suits making this a regular feeding hole in the not-too-distant future. Especially as a five-star hotel, 1000-capacity conference centre and brand new airport have been propitiously built around the restaurant.
There are scenes often used in movies which portray the step-up to the afterlife like some kind of subdued waiting lounge. Quiet background announcements, soft music, bright clean walls, and God, possibly played by Morgan Freeman, sat silently in a pure white suit, admiring the golden-hued sunshine beaming in through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Well, that’s Brasserie Roux; only with better food.

This brand spanking 80-seater is an oasis in a modern space, cleverly slotted between between two separate wings of the Sofitel Hotel. You tend to notice the high ceiling, the mirrors, the red curtains, the mirrors, the leather benches, the mirrors, the room within a room, the mirrors and the strategically-placed water features and faux palm trees that create a soothing atmos and conveniently disguise the stunning view of the Western Perimeter Overpass BEFORE you notice the food. And you’d have them fellas that did that Burj al Arab Dubai hotel to thank for that.

Gastronomic celeb restaurateur, Albert Roux OBE, whose main hobby is collecting Michelin stars, waved his magic wand of brilliance over Brasserie and turned everything a little bit Roux. He’s not all that bad either; he won the 2008 Silver Catey award with brother Michael, beating off opposition from upstarts like Gordon Ramsay, Marco Pierre White and Sir Terence Conran. As such, the menu couldn’t be more French even if it fashioned cufflinks out of garlic and married a supermodel.

The starters are a traditional roll call: duck foie gras, check; terrine du jour, check; lobster bisque, you’d be Le Bonkers not to check. Or there’s the mushroom purée and pike mousse, which the charming maitre D’ will insist you try.

The mains’ll come at you with words like sole limande meunière and cuisse de canard but whilst they are adequately alluring there is only one phrase you really need to know: Châteaubriant pour deux personnes sauce à la bordelaise, s'il vous plaît. Heavenly beef delivered on a trolley, carved right in front of you and served with a Jenga-like chip stacks. Just remember, the chef IS French so asking for ‘medium rare’ will affectively mean it’ll walk right up to your table by itself.

Desserts, just skip them, although the charming maitre D’ will insist you try the chocolate crème brulée. Instead, dive right into the honking cheese trolley. Oh, how the cheese trolley reigns supreme! Cantal and Roquefort are prominent silver medalists but the overall big cheese has to be the Livarot, aka The Colonel. It’s soft and strong and oddly reminiscent of a farmyard. And not some wet, muddy English farmyard either; no, this is a sun-drenched French farmyard that smells of hay and childhood revelry.

Wine connoisseurs, take note: knowledgeable staff hand pick wines that accompany every course, naturally from a trolley. Obviously Franco-leaning, especially the by-the-glass options, but the thick tome of worldly wines by the bottle takes in the Americas, the Antipodes, the Mediterraneans and many more. There’s a whole page of champers, French regionals, and even one bottle priced at £1600. Business account, HELLO! For the non-wine connoisseurs, here’s a simple tip: go with the Croze Hermitage. White or red, it doesn’t matter, as long as it matches the dish.

Overall, it’s the little touches that make Brasserie Roux so delicious: the detailed cheese menu; the TVs above the lavatory hand dryers; the private chef’s table with fog-switch viewing window to keep an eye on the chefs. Brassier Roux is good enough to abandon the idea of returning straight home after your long haul flight and to extend that holiday for at least another couple of hours. Alternatively, if you’re lucky enough to be leaving the UK, tell your boss he’s/she’s a having a laugh if he/she thinks you’re getting up at 3am for the red eye flight to Boring ConferenceVille. You would, however, consider the trip if it involved a leisurely night at the Sofitel and dinner at Brasserie Roux. Failing that, resign.