Why did the gorilla get lost in the jungle?
Cos jungle is MMMAAAAAAASSSSSSIIIIIVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEE
These are not just random rants, you know. These are genuine pieces of published work. Mostly. (Thanks to Fluidfoundation.co.uk, the Australian Times, 020.com, base.ad, ResidentAdvisor.net, Earplug.cc and Spire.com)
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