Urban Inc.

The O2
Peninsula Square SE10 0DX

Do you tire of night outs in chic, classy and imaginatively creative cocktail bars? Do you find the convivial nature of their clientele all too approachable and perhaps a little pompous? Do you crave the good old days of a drink-addled stupour and sharing your dancefloor with a gaggle of sweaty hen-nighters? Then boy does The O2 have a treat for you.

Conveniently located in the middle of absolutely nowhere, about six tube changes and three cans of Stella from your local station (which is probably Dagenham or Epping), Urban Inc is proud to be part of the welcoming O2 complex.

Once you’ve sauntered along the brash Hollywood-style ‘Entertainment Avenue’, mouth agape marvelling at its vulgarity, you’ll arrive at your destination for the evening. And there’s no need to be shy at Urban Inc. As a provincial townie, you are not alone. You’ll feel right at home amongst the drab shirts and Top Shop frocks. These people have the social finesse of a enraged bull. These are your kind of people.

Be amazed by the tawdriness of the disco lights stapled to the ceiling. Stare in wonder at the 80s corrigated mirror facade encircling the entire bar. Stumble about with fits of laughter after glimpsing of the comedy urinals. Does it get any better than this?

Urban Inc isn’t really a cocktail bar, it’s the Red Dwarf docking station. It’s cheapily made, it has wobbly exposed piping and everyone looks a bit alien. Plus, the gaudy space age furniture looks like it’s recently arrived from Planet Ikea, via the Croydon Nebula.

This space station venue is filled with the sort of people who like nights out at Tiger Tiger, shopping on Oxford Street, and think that a decent family getaway involves the words ‘Alton’ and ‘Towers’.

Its two large rooms are not seperated like most other (sensible) bars. No, these rooms share a DJ, so you’re never more than a few feet away from a heady mix of singalong RnB classics and paint-by-numbers House (or should that be ‘Bungalow’?). And if you like it “Hot in Here” just remember Urban Inc is inside the World’s biggest tent so you’re keep nice and clammy for the duration of your evening. Who needs The End when you can have Urban Inc?

The sort of place you’d see Girls Aloud. Before they were Girls Aloud, of course. Otherwise 4 out of 10