Jamie Cullum Vs Roni Size

There comes a time in every professional’s career when it is required that you ‘take one for the team’ and do something truly awful that noone else can do. Gig reviewing is not necessarily an exception to this rule. On paper, a head-crunching, heart-palpatating Roni Size D&B demolition seems like the perfect justification for dusting off the old puffer jacket. But hang on, what’s this scribbled on the billing? Is it some kind twisted celebrity death match joke? Jamie Cullum? Supported BY Roni Size? Huh?

Yes, it’s true. This is possibly the weirdest coupling to be seen since Cullum and supermodel girlfriend Sophie Dahl, perhaps. Jim must’ve fixed it for Jamie to go head to head with Roni when he saw the elf-boy win a 2004 MOBO award, granting him the credentials to hang with the right homies.

This would normally be the point at which Roni Size would get an exemplary report and the shaggy haired, self-taught, platinum-selling Munchkin would get a slagging off. But (a) Roni only played for 25 minutes and thus didn’t really get the engine turned over properly, and (b) get this, Jamie Cullum was actually pretty good. Some might even go so far as to say great.

Fans of Cullum - most likely the plethora of civilised, wine-quaffing, groomed ladies in the audience, clearly not there to see Mr Size - were probably very disappointed when Cullum and his guest star – brother and bassist Ben Cullum – launched into a set that can only be described as dance music.

Their fidgety, techno jazz and space disco funk utilised cowbells, Ibiza pianos, looping beat machines, adventurous beatboxing and the quintessential solid bass. This free-spirited approach to dance was nailed down properly during a 20-minute improvised jam that included the electronic sax distortion of MOBO-nominee (and previous winner) Soweto Kinch and the trumpeting retaliation of Rory Simmons.

when Kinch asked the crowd to shout out four adjectives to describe the spectacle before them (to use in a freestyle rhyme), they proffered. ‘Mind-blowing’, ‘eclectic’, ‘heavy’ and ‘rocking’.

The slightly stunned audience was taken on a veritable journey through sound, stopping off at stations marked Groove Armada, Battles, Crazy P, Stereo MCs, Level 42, A Tribe Called Quest, The Chemical Brothers, Roy Budd’s Get Carter soundtrack and Soul Central’s ‘Strings Of Life’. The journey terminated with a smooth rendition of the Bodyrox club anthem ‘Yeah Yeah’.

The only blemish on an otherwise stellar performance was Cullum’s unsuitable Frank Sinatra cadence. Although he’s primarily a jazz musician, Cullum’s obvious technical ability and tapestry of musical influences could see him a regular crossover artist in the dance pages of base magazine.