I Woke Up Drunk Again

“I woke up drunk again,” came the inappropriate ooze, treacle-thick with chuckles. The way she told me was as though I was on her side and that we had got drunk together. Using the phone to relay her irresponsible predicament meant that I wasn’t able to stand beside her and witness her pathetic display, thankfully. It would have been sickening.

“You don’t sound drunk to me,” was my reply.

“I’ve had a couple of strong coffees and a shower, but…” and then she trailed off into a yawn. She began to mumble, either to herself, in her private intoxication, or mistakenly to me, as though I was actually paying attention. Pointless either way really.

Once her charm offensive was over and I was forced to return to my natural role in her life, the conversation ended abruptedly. She could’ve spewed forth more excuses and apologies but my patience was being eroded rapidly. I’m sure if I were to sit down now and think about it for a long time I could recall some of the things she had started to tell me, but the standard “I woke up drunk again” always expended my enthusiasm.

Should I feel guilt for regarding her with so much disdain? Perhaps secretly, even from myself, I exaggerated my authority over her because I found her, and the irresponsible life-cycle she appeared to subject herself to, appealing. Was it alluring to see her as a “woke up drunk” kind of person, or was I just unaware of the human condition known as ‘fun’. My supremacy was a conduit to condemn. I doubt it would have made any difference anyway. If it hadn’t been me that reminded her she was under contract and needed to get to work as soon as poosible, then I’m sure someone else would’ve instead.

Laura Louise Johnson, aged 22, junior medical periodical journalist, stranger to some, acquaintance to others, colleague of mine, daughter to some poor folk. Drove her car too fast to work today, after she’d “woke up drunk again”.