Elk Bar

587 Fulham Road, SW6 5UA

For anyone whose seen those adverts purporting Carlsberg’s utopian dreamworld for blokes, Elk Bar brings that vision to life with wall-to-wall grilled meats, uniformed waitresses, plasmas and lager.

Welcome to bloke country. Here, the smell of testosterone lingers in the air and chaps wearing un-ironed shirts outnumber those with fashion standards; or women as they’re sometimes known. Gladly, the fairer sex is in attendance, although in the minority. They succumb to the wily ways of the management whose devious enticements include Sweet Shop Shooters (Bubblegum, Aniseed Balls, etc), an enormous 2-4-1 cocktail extravaganza, and a wine list that says “work is from 9 to 5, I make it 5.01, so hit me with your rhythym stick”.

Now, statistically, at least a couple of the blokes should be ex-crims, murderers or possibly even bankers, but on the whole these fellas are genuinely cordial. People who you’d possible converse with. Maybe even become acquainted with. And there’s a reason for that: they’re all Antipodeans. Going into Elk Bar is like wading through a shallow lake of floating seagulls, simultaneous “mate, mate, mate” squawks everywhere you look. Having laid claim to the land known as The District Line, and being relatively unaffected by the looming credit crunch with their quick in-out-no-mortgage-to-worry-about Euro trip, these chirpy chaps come to Elk to put a P to the A to the RTY. Of course, there are a few Brits but they don’t usually show themselves on the DJ nights (Thursday-Sunday) for fear of actually interacting with strangers; they usually just gather during the quieter weeknights for the post-work feeding trough.

I’m not sure who wrote the rules of fun, but at Elk they seem to adhere to the strict elements of food, flirtation and fluids. In the first instance, food, it’s BBQ all day every day, putting the men into menu. They only serve food that once had a face. If you were an elk, you certainly wouldn’t go to Elk Bar. Lettuce is an after thought, salad is a swear word (I saw a bloke proudly display his burger as he divorced it from anything that wasn’t meat) and the couscous comes straight from the Saharan dunes. There’s also a considerable lack of carbs (chips, baked potatoes?).

Be warned, the second rule of fun, flirtation, involves people getting jiggy wid it. Elk’s sister bars (Koko, Bison & Bird, Infernos) are reknowned for combining cheesey music with packs 20-30somethings out on the hunt. Hence, Elk’s music policy is always going to be cheesey. But this is a delicious cheese, cured in the 70s, 80s and 90s. It’s not some bog standard pop cheddar. No, this is cheese that feels elegant, like a fresh French brie. On a cracker. With chutney! You WILL singalong, you WILL ask the DJ to play Tears For Fears, you WILL embarrass yourself.

As for fluids, beer = lager, ales are clearly for soft Poms, and Guinness is a dessert. Everything else, as stated, is ladies night.
Aside from the inexhaustably amicable vibe, there are two other elements that make Elk worthwhile: the décor and the staff. Aesthetically, Elk is dominated by its popular beer garden, which looks suspiciously like a zoo enclosure with its high walls, potted plants, feeding area, dominant males and flambouyant females. They even herd everyone back inside at 10.30 after they’ve all been fed (granted, that’s due of neighbourly concerns). Once inside the atmos is akin to something like a house party put on by the team from Changing Rooms: wooden places to lean, mirrored places to dance, dimly-lit places for clandestine liaisons, all coated with hint of leather.

The staff are something else. Spookily attentive female waiting staff seem to constantly hover at your shoulder, waiting for that ghoulish moment to catch your eye, offer a mesmorising smile then hit you with the deadly ‘can I get you guys anything?’. To which you meakly reply the inevitable zombie-like ‘yesssssss’. And the service doesn’t end there. If you manage to avoid the gaze of the circling Stepford waitresses, then the staff manning the bar will get you: asking, unprompted, if your beer is cold enough or allowing you to taste-test the lager (like you don’t know!). And the consistency goes all the way to the top; even the manager is on autopilot niceness. Scary.

Aside from a few niggling food issues, Elk Bar is lively cauldron of sociability. The genial staff, the 1am license and the garden patio make it equal parts bar, pub and club (a ‘plub’ perhaps?). And the lack of any tangible competition in the area - Havannah (rough), The Slug (for kids) – means queues around the block. Eh, mate?

Eight Great Children's Museums

I was recently commissioned by Spire.com to research and write about eight of the world's great chidlren's museums that encompassed art, innovation, adventure and imagination. The published version an be found here.

The New Children's Museum
San Diego, California

Kids in San Diego have a brand new, ultra-cool playground that just might beat the beach. After a $29 million reincarnation, the New Children's Museum opened in May 2008 in the lively Marina district, in a glittering glass and concrete three-storey, 50,000-square-foot building designed by local architect Rob Wellington Quigley. Constructed from recycled materials, it was built to limit its environmental impact: water-saving devices; solar paneling generating 136,000 kilowatt-hours of electricity per year; and a glass shaft elevator that doubles as a cooling tower. “Think, play, create” is the threefold mission of the NCM. Part exhibit, part play pen, the center commissioned 19 artists to provide the initial exhibit, interactive installations collectively known as “childsplay": kids can climb up the graffiti wall; jump on walls and floors covered with mattresses; move around on kinetic "scooter" art; dance in the Porta-Party disco ball booth; and activate notes on the musical vacuum cleaners. Toddlers get to crawl through the fabric-enhanced Texture Forest, and older kids can hang out in the Teen Studio. Children are encouraged to dig into paints and clay and create their own art (or blow bubbles) at indoor and outdoor studios, using recycled and sustainable materials. They can even paint an old VW Bug parked outside. Special programs include puppetry and dance performances in the 250-seat theater. Come summer, the museum offers a range of educational day camp programs for kids of all ages, such as a DJ course for tweens. When the gang gets hungry, they can refuel on healthy organic food in the indoor/outdoor café or order a picnic to go and eat in the park across the street. With two private function rooms, the museum is sure to be a hot spot for birthday parties.

Museum hours:
Open 9 a.m. – 4 p.m.
Closed Wednesday

Admission:
Adults and Children: $10
NCM Member: FREE
Children under one year: FREE
Seniors (65+): $5

www.thinkplaycreate.org | Phone: +1 619 233 8792
200 West Island Avenue | San Diego, CA 92101 United States


Imaginosity
Dublin, Ireland

Dublin's Beacon South Quarter now has an eclectic, eco-friendly museum specifically designed for children. If kids can't wear it, play with it or climb on it, they won't find it at Imaginosity. The center opened in 2007 and is a member of the European "Hands On" Association as well as the American Children's Museum Association.
Its three floors and 16,000 square feet are filled with colorful exhibits that help kids up to age 10 to grow with confidence, become more self perceptive, and to engage the notion of sharing. The role-playing village helps their math skills (the bank), nutritional awareness (the market), vehicle safety (the garage), and health awareness (the doctor's office). Little ones can dress up in hard hats and tool belts to wear at the Construction Company, or don costumes, props and face paints to create imaginative scenarios in the TV studio and theater. An artist-in-residence directs the action at the studio, where kids take a turn at costume design and pottery. Budding environmentalists get a head start at the Nature in the City roof garden. Other points of interest include two areas just for children under three, a two-storey clambering structure, a café and a shop. There are also rooms for birthdays and workshops.

Top tip:
During periods when the center reaches near-capacity, such as Friday afternoons and weekends, timed ticketing comes into operation and you will be limited to a two hour stay. Therefore, go in the mornings during the week and always book in advance. Also, avoid the month of June altogether as it's the school tour season.

Museum Hours:
Mon – 1:30 p.m. to 5:30 p.m.
Tue – Fri 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.
Sat – 9:00 a.m. - 11:00 a.m. (Members & Groups only from 11:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m.)
Sun – 10:00am to 6:00pm
Bank Holiday Mondays 10:00am - 6:00pm

Admission:
Adults and Children (over 3 years): €8
Concession: €7
Toddlers (1 - 2 years ): €6
Babies (6 - 12 months): €2

www.imaginosity.ie | Phone: +353 (01) 2176130
The Plaza, Beacon South Quarter | Sandyford, Dublin 18 Ireland


Children's City
Dubai, United Arab Emirates

Dubai's enormous Children City in Creekside Park was launched in March 2002 and patroned by H. H. Sheikh Hamdan Bin Rashid Al Maktoum, the incumbant Prime Minister and ruler of United Arab Emirates. The first of its kind for the UAE, it's geared towards children as young as two and as old as fifteen. Nearly 97,000-square-feet, the aptly named "city" has 220 exhibits, 121 computers, and 28 touch screens, and maximizes the use of modern technology to engage children with 3D animation, projections, audiovisuals and a planetarium. Interactive exhibits help bring out the astronomer, anthropologist, ecologist and scientist in every child. Special performances and workhops are held in the theater, and there is a special section created just for kids under 5, as well as a gift shop that boasts a marvelous stock of educational toys and cultural and scientific books. Thankfully, the handy displays appear in English as well as Arabic. Great for families on holiday in Dubai.

Museum Hours:
9 a.m. – 8:30 p.m. Mon-Thurs, Sat-Sun
3 p.m. – 8:30pm Fri

During Ramadan:

9 a.m. – 4 p.m. Mon-Thurs, Sat-Sun
3 p.m. – 6:30 p.m. Fri

Admission:
Single entrance:
Child 2 - 15: $2.75
Adults 16+ : $4.10
Family entrance ticket (two adults, two children): $10.90
Free entrance for children less than two
Free entrance for children with special needs

www.childrencity.ae| Phone: +(9714) 334 0808
Creek Park, Gate 1 | Dubai United Arab Emirates


International Museum of Children's Art
Oslo, Norway

Not strictly a children's museum in the traditional, interactive sense, Norway's International Museum of Children's Art is instead a cultural institution that collates, conserves and markets a range of artwork created by children from around the world. Founded twenty years ago, the Barnekunst Museum, as it's called in Norwegian, is one of the biggest of its kind and emphasizes the global disparity of children's emotional, social and cultural awareness through drawings, paintings, ceramics, sculptures, textiles and handcrafts. Housed in an Olso homestead in a low-key residential area, the museum features works from 180 different countries—including pieces made by African children using recycled wire, paper, beads and boxes. Workshops are also available, tackling a variety of subjects, like music lead by a team of staff musicians from Norway, Argentina, Ivory Coast and Cuba.

Hours:
groups: €3.75 pr person (reservations)
children, students, seniors: €3.75
adults: €6.25
Oslo Pass: free entrance
Closed Dec 16-Jan 19, Aug 16-Sep 9
Guided tours upon request on Wednesdays and Thursdays that last roughly 90 minutes.

www.english.barnekunst.no | Phone: +47 22 46 85 73
Lille Frøens vei 4 | Oslo 3071 Norway


The Children's Museum of Indianapolis
Indianapolis, Indiana
Fact: this is the world's largest museum dedicated entirely to children. If that doesn't grab you then how about the fact that it's five stories high and houses a planetarium, a children's theater and even a rock climbing wall. Originally founded in 1926 and expanded and enhanced over time, the 400,000-square-foot facility is like an amusement park that collided with a natural history museum. Adopting a very hands-on approach, it offers activities that develop children's learning capacity while keeping them fully entertained. There are a multitude of interactive topics to explore: the ocean, outer space, construction, robots, trains, ancient civilizations, science and food. Even Sesame Street, Bob the Builder and Curious George all have their own sections. Kids fascinated with dinosaurs will be in heaven at the huge Dinosphere—a collection of 65 million year old dinosaur fossils.

Top Tips:
Get a membership if you're planning on raiding the gift shop and wish to be there more than a day (extremely likely).

Get there as it opens; you can join the helpful introductory program that covers everything the museum has to offer.

Start at the top.

Museum Hours:

10 a.m. – 5 p.m.
Open Daily, March 3, 2008 – September 1, 2008 (Labor Day)
Open Tuesday – Sunday, September 2, 2008 – March 1, 2009
Closed Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas

Open on special Mondays September – March:
January 19, 2009 — MLK Day
February 16, 2009 — Presidents Day
December 31, 2009 — New Year's Eve

Free days:
December 24, 2008 — Christmas Eve (10 a.m. – 2 p.m.)
January 19, 2009 — MLK Day
February 16, 2009 — Presidents Day
April 26, 2009 — El Dia de Los Niños

Open free for families the first Thursday of each month from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m.

Open exclusively for members on the first Saturday of each month from 9 – 10 a.m.

Admission:
Youth (ages 2-17): $8.50
Adult (ages 18-59): $13.50
Senior (60+): $12.50
Members receive $1 off guest admissions.

www.childrensmuseum.org | Phone: +1 317 334 3322
3000 N. Meridian Street | Indianapolis, IN 46208 United States


Eureka! The Museum for Children
Halifax, England
When Archimedes ran naked through the streets yelling “Eureka!”— following his density discovery— he probably wasn't thinking of England's West Yorkshire. It's doubtful he envisaged children, aged 0-11, using interactive tools to learn about their global implications or the science of their bodies. It's likely he wasn't picturing seven galleries filled with over 400 "must-touch" exhibits, and a variety of programs offered by trained staff. He didn't, but Dame Vivien Duffield did. As Director of the Clore Duffield Foundation, in 1992 she created Eureka!, the UK's first national children's museum. Set in a 13-acre patch of Halifax on a site once used for railway marshaling, this modern facility is housed in a Grade I-listed building. Among its highlights are a Desert Discovery habitat for kids under five; a SoundGarden with musical plants; and, a Town Square with grocery store, bank and post office role-playing arenas. Although driveable from London, Eureka! is still an 8-hour round trip from the capital. Instead, take an extra day to explore the old town of York (with ramparts and Viking Museum), then travel to Halifax early the next day, therefore only enduring a 2-hour round trip.

Museum hours:
Open every day (except 24-26 December) from 10 a.m. - 5 p.m. Last admission at 4 p.m.

Admission:
(Donation inclusive prices)*
Adults £7.25 each
Children age 3+ £7.25 each
Toddlers age 1-2 £2.25 each
Babies age 0-12 months free
Saver Ticket (admits 5 people) £31.00

After 3 p.m. from Monday-Friday during term time, visitors are admitted at half price.

*Eureka! is a charity and these prices INCLUDE a 10% donation. This allows the museum to reclaim the tax on the money you pay to visit through the Gift Aid scheme.

www.eureka.org.uk | Phone: +44 (0)1422 330069
Discovery Road | Halifax, West Yorkshire HX1 2NE England


The Children's Museum Jordan
Amman, Jordan
It took royalty to dream it up this fantastic museum. Open since May 2007, CMJ was developed by Her Majesty Queen Rania—a passionate proponent of children's causes—and is the largest kids' museum in the Middle East. As part of the prestigious Association of Children's Museums, CMJ promotes a free thinking approach to learning through hands-on involvement with science, arts, history and the environment. This multi-colored realm of discovery is located in Amman's northwest quarter and is home to more than 150 interactive activities: kids can construct earthquake-resistant structures in the Dynamic Planet exhibit; uncover tools and vases in the Ancient Times purpose-built fake archaeology dig; or learn how to recycle and preserve water in the Energy Lab. There's also a gift shop, a restaurant, a birthday room, a planetarium, a pretend car garage (with a real pink and purple Corvette), a hard hat area where a crane shifts foam bricks about the place, and a library that houses books in Arabic and English.

Museum hours:
9am-6pm Saturday – Thursday
9am-7pm Friday
Tuesday – Closed
Open most public holidays

Admission:
Individuals JOD $4.25 (including children of any age)

www.cmj.jo | Phone: +962 6 5411 479
PO Box 386 | Amman 11831 Jordan


Stepping Stones Museum for Children
Norwalk, Connecticut

We all know it often takes a determined mother to get things done. The brainchild of Gigi Priebe, a Connecticut-based mother of three, Norwalk's Stepping Stones museum took eight years of tireless campaigning, fundraising and planning to bring to fruition. It proved a resounding success and has won several awards since its inception in March 2000, pulling in an average of 200,000 visitors a year, many of whom come from NYC. Set in five acres of Mathews Park, the museum boasts four galleries with over 100 interactive exhibits and educational programs. The "In The Works" exhibit provides an opportunity to manipulate the laws of physics, to experiment with energy in all its forms. "Healthyville" uses role-play to help children understand their bodies via the Good Foods Market, the Healthyville Community Center, and WBOD, a TV station from inside the body. A visit to the "Rainforest Adventure" might inspire turns kids to become conservation experts, and "Waterscape" trains future meteorologists with whirlpools, cascades, fog, mist and ice. There is also a Toddler Terrain for little ones, Family Fun Nights to encourage child literacy and a seasonal outdoor exhibit that delves into the science of giant bubbles. Be aware: although it claims kids as old as ten will have fun here, it is more geared towards younger children.

Museum hours:
Monday Closed
Tuesday 1 – 5 p.m.
Wednesday through Sunday 10 a.m. – 5 p.m.
Members enjoy early admission Wednesdays and Thursdays at 9 a.m.

Summer Hours
July 1 – Labor Day
10 a.m. – 5 p.m., every day

Admission:
Adults $9
Children $9
Children Under 1 Free
Members Free
Seniors (over 62) $7

www.steppingstonesmuseum.org| Phone: +1 203 899 0606
Mathews Park, 303 West Avenue | Norwalk, CT 06850 United States

Graphic

4 Golden Sqaure
London W1F 9HT

Stumbling blindly in from the sun-drenched and aptly-named Golden Square, your immediate feelings for Graphic are probably akin to what went through poor Augustus Gloop’s mind just after he accidentally plunged into Willy Wonka’s chocolate river and got sucked up a pipe: Oh my, I’m being engulfed by a wave of soft, brown stuff and the further in I tumble, the more it squeezes me so (only with a better German accent, of course).

Graphic’s narrow structure combines the oft-used worlds of chocolate, leather and booths to produce something that looks like the inside of a moist cake.

Clearly, someone had been reading a well-thumbed edition of A Dummies Guide to Bar Design (1998 Edition). It’s one thing to add a splash of colour here and there; it’s another to bloody drown the place with it.

How-very-much-ever, all is certainly not lost. Have a little sit down, alter the colour levels by donning a pair of rose-tinted glasses, and get to work on the real reason for going to Graphic in the first place: drinkie winkies.

Graphic doesn’t do many cocktails. It does many to the power of 3; times infinity; plus one. Every type, flavour, strength, religion, gender, sexually-swayed, breed, creed, kind and colour of mixed liquid is available for you to pour down your eager gullet or your best shirt/frock. Inventive spectacles of art contained within vessels that themselves are a work of unique creativity. If they don’t have it, you’re probably in the wrong place. They even cook the fruit right there in front of you on the bar, if you like that sort of thing. There’s a £9.50 Porn Star that comes (tee-hee) with a shot of champagne; there’s a £32 rum-heavy Sy-Tai especially made for sharing, or alcoholics; plus, there’s the Long Island Ice Tea that, due to it’s strength, is restricted to two per person per night. Tip: if you ever joyfully hopped and skipped as a child at the thought of necking a packet of delicious Parma Violet sweets, then give the Mrs Miagi a whirl.

Delighted, glee-ridden hugs and kisses must go to the smart banana who sourced such an interesting book of booze: Swedish cider, Chinese bottles, Japanese draught, Mexican-only Tequila, and nine types of Kentucky bourbon alone! The menu is so absurdly comprehensive, the bookies have it at odds-on favourite to win the next Man Booker prize; probably.

The high-end concept doesn’t stop with just the drinks though. To accompany your creations of varying strength and size, there’s sustenance of another form, food, and at Graphic they operate a strict on-a-stick regime. Skewered for what they coin ‘social dining’ - or sharing for those who went to a good primary school – the seared tuna with sesame seed dip and the haloumi cheese with redcurrant dip are both champions of the astute palette.

Graphic is also good for work: get a healthy wheatgrass detox shot when it opens at 10am; follow that with a coffee or homemade lemongrass & ginger lemonade; then business-meeting your brains out by utilising the free wifi. That, plus all of the above, should see you through to about midnight. And with a glut of big pant-wearing brands lurking in the back streets nearby, Graphic is bound to catch the noses of the media hounds.

Graphic is not a destination; it’s a holding lounge for the West End. You know how you’ve always wanted to sneak into one of those top notch airport executive lounges where the staff wait on your every wanton need? Graphic is that lounge. It’s the cerebral location known as ‘The Comfort Zone’. Clusters of people don’t dance, they sway. Caught in a pre-club rant about blah, blah and blah-blah, yeh?!

If you can get passed the obsessive ‘brown’ compulsion the designers suffered from whilst imaging the interior, then Graphic is a sturdy 8 out of 10. The manager has brought along some of that fresh thinking clout that he gained whilst working at his former haunts – Mahiki, Plan B and 22 Below. This promising haven is manned by a squad of mixologist geeks who do for Soho what Victor Frankenstein did for his monster.

Good for: those dolled-up, girly nights when credit cards are wielded like weapons and conversations manifest into a series of hysterical giggles.

Bad for: secluded romantic liaisons when you’re aiming for fourth base and you’re getting nothing but a strike out. OR if you’re averse to anything with fruit in it.